“Dear Diary” – Cat Burglary, The Nhs And Google’s Street View
As a part-time cat burglar (I also work for the NHS, but the pay sucks), I find Google’s Street View to be one of my most useful tools when drumming up new business. Alot of people have had some strong thoughts about Street View and it’s invasion of privacy but, I have to say, I’m a little more upbeat about the situation. I guess it’s one of those Marmite debates. You either love it, or hate it.
Anyhow, in my own words (yes, that’s right…something i didn’t actually nick), here are some “Dear Diary” snippets about my affair with Google Street View.
“Peekaboo – Google launches Street View” – May 25 2007
I used to get CCTV footage of some private roads and estates, but my source went walkabout. Thankfully, Google launched its Street View, so I have a wonderful new way of spying on the world. Only problem is, it’s in the U.S. and I live in the UK. Bugger.
Note to self: If you see a CCTV camera on private land, they have money.
“PC Google plays cops and robbers” – Jul 9th 2007
It’s been a busy couple of weeks and I’ve been too tired to “work nights” – too many overweight people needed carrying around on the ward. You think I’m a burglar, but I’m sure these patients have been stealing more than their fair share of canteen chips.
Anyhow, I’ve been tracking Google and noticed that they’re getting better at photographing things as they happen. Well, they’ve only gone and captured my mate “Miguel” from over the pond. There he was innocently scrambling to get to the toilet and now his face is plastered all over the web. He only goes out at night now. Poor fella.
“I want the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth… as long as it’s blurred” – May 12 2008
Miguel must have complained about his very public embarrassment (see above) as well as scratching a couple of backs at the influential Electronic Frontier Foundation. It appears to have worked. Google have said that they’d start to automatically blur faces of people captured in street photos. I’m not too worried though, it’s not the people I’m interested in!
“Google’s Meat View kills Bambi… nearly” – January 30 2009
Street View hasn’t done much recently, a bit like my cat burgulary since I put my back out (more fat people in the ward!). However, I did hear that one of the Google cars had just run over a fawn in upstate New York. Oh deer!
True to form, Google shared a bit of wisdom from their experience: “Don’t swerve, brake until the very last second before impact and if you do hit a deer, don’t try to touch it“. That’s weird. I did exactly that on a Hit and Run last year - thankfully the old lady was alright, but it was a bugger on my back…
“Street View gives me the golden ticket” – Mar 11 2010
Three years Google have been dangling the carrot in front of me and now, at last, they’ve gone national. You know what that means? No more long hours on the road scouting out the next bit of prime estate, less shifts needed in the ward carting around Jeff Capps look-a-likes, and more (much more!) swag for my bag. Yay Google! I love you!
P.S. I may be very busy now, so this may be my last diary entry for a while.
P.P.S. Despite being a cat burglar by trade, I also have a penchant for dogs. Rover and out.
P.P.P.S. I also love Marmite.
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Airport parking with gosimply.com – now with Google Street View! Making it easier for you to find your parking at Manchester Airport! Smart people gosimply.com.
About the Author
Mr. Fahrquart fancies himself a comedian. You may or may not agree with that description, but Mr. Fahrquart would like you to accept him into your life as a potential source of mirth and glee.
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